Critique Paper on “Parents’ Contribution to the Education of Their Children”

(We made 3 critique papers (which were submitted last Dec 15, 2011), as one of the requirements in our HSC class @ the University of Asia and the Pacific.. I felt the need to share valuable information. Your comments will be highly appreciated.. TY..)

Critique Paper on “Parents’ Contribution to the Education of Their Children” by Fr. Cecilio Magsino

December 16, 2011 at 1:00pm

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Eugenia C. Martin
MA-ELP
Fundamentals of Home, School and Community Partnership   
Dr. Severina M. Villegas

Critique Paper on
“Parents’ Contribution to the Education of Their Children” by Fr. Cecilio Magsino

No one can aptly replace the prodigious contribution of parents to the education of their children. The rights and duties of parents as the primary educators of their children have been the constant teaching of the Church as far as education is concerned. In order to promote an integrated personal and social education of the children, parents must create a family atmosphere inspired with love and devotion to the Creator and other people.

The author suggested the following general ideas on children’s education: (1) parents ought to be aware of the value of and the need for good example; (2) they must gain the friendship of their children; (3) they must try to be consistent; and (4) they must be firm.

He also suggested the following virtues needed to develop in their children: (1) fortitude; (2) sobriety and temperance; (3) piety; (4) charity; and (5) chastity and holy purity.

Though the author offered few ideas on the contributions of parents to their children’s education, it elicited important and related issues which may still be further expounded.

Parents are the primary educators of their children.
The word parenting was derived from a Latin verb “parere”, which means ’to bring forth, develop or educate’.  The short article emphasized the “original, primary and alienable right” of the parents to educate their children. Thus, the vital role of parents / home in children’s lives was emphasized. The importance of home involvement in schooling was also discussed by Kellaghan in 1993, stressing “the central role of the home in children’s lives, the importance of early development, and the cumulative nature of development” (p. 9).

Though it has been repeatedly stressed that no one can take the place of parents in the education of their children, parents are duty-bound to seek for assistance from educators who are also concerned with their children’s spiritual formation and growth, i.e., for justifiable and serious circumstances, (‘in loco parentis’ - in place of parents, assigned to teachers).  Other concerned individuals may assist the parents in their children’s personal, social and spiritual formation.

Educating the children entails good example, healthy relationship, consistency and firmness.
The relationship between the parents and their children during the earlier years of life is critical since children are perceptive and receptive. Parents ought to be persons of character, if they want to raise virtuous children. Parents must be solicitous of their languages, actions and behavior. Children are starting to form their own set of values and tend to do things which they believe are ‘good’ and do not do things which they believe as ‘bad’, based on what they have observed from their parents or from other significant persons at home.

Children are highly susceptible to peer pressure. It will be favorable if the relationship developed among peers is healthy. However, if close relationship with their parents and identification of family values are wanting, coupled with negative peer influences, it will jeopardize the children’s lives (Lickona, 1991). Considerable amount of time, open communication lines, and opportunity for children to be heard were some of the ways that parents could invest on in order to build genuine and lasting friendship with their children. Through this relationship, advices and reprimands of the parents, as part of formation, would be accepted heartily and with respect, by the children.

Consistency and firmness come from the parents’ own struggle to be virtuous. These traits will enhance their skills to withstand the challenges of parenting that will eventually cascade to their children’s attitude and behavior.

Aside from material needs, parents must be more concerned with their children’s moral development. Thus, there is a need for parents to develop fortitude, sobriety and temperance, piety, charity, and chastity and holy purity among their children.
Parenting is probably the most overwhelming and significant endeavour in one’s lifetime. A parent has duties for oneself, for the spouse, for the children and for work, which is very complicated, given the demands, and at times, conflicting burdens of each one. Thus, one should be equipped with the right attitude, knowledge, skills and morals to be an effective and responsible parent. A virtuous life is a lifetime pursuit and parents should be prepared to make sacrifices and have strong self-control to withstand the challenges of educating their children.

Parents should be resourceful, creative and inventive to capture and maximize the “teachable moments” with their children, (e.g., in simple chores, doing routine family activities) to highlight and demonstrate virtues of fortitude, sobriety and temperance, piety, charity, and chastity and holy purity. Again, the importance of setting a good example is imperative.

Application
It is disheartening to note that the issue on ‘unprepared’ or ‘accidental’ parents, who lacked the proper parenting skills, is so prevalent in this rapidly changing world. The following remarks from an elementary school teacher, Central New York, reminded me of the usual scenario in school, where most parents tend to renounce their responsibilities and leave everything up to the school personnel / teachers as far as children’s education is concerned (even moral education) - “ The moral education thing bothers me because I feel as if I’m doing it alone. Many parents seem to enjoy their rights – having a child – but no longer seem to want the responsibilities. I get the feeling, who’s helping me here?”(cited in Lickona, 1991, p. 45).

Despite the waning moral situation, the schools are aware of their responsibilities to do something that could salvage these children (and their parents) from despondency. Lickona (1991) pointed out that, “To take on that task, however, they need two things: hope that it can be done, and the feeling that they won’t be doing it alone” (p. 45).

The article supported my philosophy in dealing with parents during parent-teacher conferences, case conferences and family counseling. School personnel must understand that parents are indispensable partners in their children’s education, that they should be treated appropriately with utmost respect. Though teachers augment the knowledge, skills and attitude learned by the students, it cannot be denied that the home / parents had the greatest impact in the child’s personal, social and spiritual development. Their opinions and suggestions for their children’s welfare must be heard, acknowledged and considered.

Parents do many things that they think are the best and for the welfare of their children. However, due to lack of proper parenting skills, instead of having a thriving family environment and healthy relationship with other family members, some parents fail. The school must be sensitive enough and must have functional awareness to assist parents who may benefit from parenting seminars.

The article underscored the responsibility of parents in their children’s education. The suggestions offered by the author (i.e., the values and virtues) must be emphasized during classes in Values / Character Education, Technology and Livelihood Education and other related subjects. Value-laden classroom activities, action learning and other noteworthy strategies must be utilized to develop and strengthen the traits and virtues of the students, in support of the family’s / parents’ hope to have well-educated, responsible, and God-fearing children.




References
Kellaghan, T. et al. (1993). The home environment and school learning. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Lickona, T. (1991). Educating for character. New York: Bantam Books.
Magsino, C., (1999, Second Quarter). Parents’ contribution to the education of their children. Ad Continuum, 51-53 .

My Mom’s Leadership Legacy

My Mom’s Leadership Legacy                                                      July 7, 2015

by: Ms. Eugene Martin

Quite interestingly, these past few weeks, I have received inquiries and comments through personal messages in the FB, CPs and email regarding leadership - - theories, styles, great leaders, effective / ineffective leadership, and some (which is somewhat flattering) commended my style of leadership. I responded accordingly and appreciated their effort for considering my opinion on the topic. (I referred others to the Grade 8 Edukasyon sa Pagpapakatao Module No. 8 on Leadership and Followership).

Particularly inquisitive on the concept, approximately 70% of our books at home are all about leadership and management. Looking back, I remembered our topic in our Research in College… it was “self-monitoring and leadership emergence”. I think my interest on it was kindled by how my parents managed and led our small scale family shoemaking enterprise sometime in the ‘70s in Marikina City. Young as I was, I was exposed to their distinct way of managing and leading people.  The values, styles and principles I hold were reinforced by that experience.

As far as I can recall, they had more or less 10 workers as ‘sapateros’ (shoemakers), ‘mag-aareglo’ (uppermakers), and piece-rate workers. During rush situations, I could hear them saying “apupungan ‘yan” (- rush work…. which I think is a famous and unique term in a shoemaking community).  My dad would join the other shoemakers, my mom would continue applying adhesive to the leather and I would help in assembling the shoe boxes. I would see my mom calmly talking to the workers, with her endearing demeanor and encouraging presence. (Additional note: Never in my life did I hear my mom shout nor see her point a finger to anyone.. no.. not even under very stressful situation). I would hear her say, “Matatapos natin yan.” (“We can finish it”). I would observe faster pace with smiles on the workers’ faces. The sound of the hammer, sewing machine and trimming machine seemed so coordinated to produce music to my ears. Random and intermittent laughter would fill the place because someone cracked a joke. Nobody noticed the time and the workload felt so light. And I, definitely, enjoyed and loved it. I grew up with it.

I had a lot of experiences with ‘working’ at home with my family.  My mom left a legacy of calmness, attentiveness, respect and a sense of urgency, as a wife, daughter, sister, friend, a manager / leader of our home-based small business and most especially, as a mother. I felt so important and so loved and I had all her time, affection and attention. J

My mom died 28 years ago (last June 25^th was her death anniversary). A simple and admirable person, my mom worked full-time in the different roles she assumed. She started the day by going to church, then to the market, then to the shop, and there were lots in between for interpersonal skills and values developmentJ and of course, quality time with me and my dad. Then after dinner, she would visit her checklist and plan for the next day’s activities (she had a notebook with Raymond Lauchengco’s picture on the cover J)… then some TV watching...  and at the end of the day, we would pray.

With the significant circumstances I had encountered in my life at the start of this year, I am blessed to have experienced the love and great care from my mom, in order to survive some of life’s idiosyncrasies. I have realized that my mom, possessed the following traits which made her accomplish the goals, made people move, bring out the best in them, and earned love and respect from them.

I had coined an acronym to highlight her traits… her GREAT CARE:

She was Goal-oriented; She showed Respect to others; Had an Effective human relations skills; With a very positive and encouraging Attitude; Valued Teamwork; Celebrated even little successes; Exuded genuine Affection; Gave appropriate Rewards and recognition (simple yet remarkable); Manifested Exemplary leading, delegating and proper follow-up.

It is so invigorating to see a group of people being led by someone with great care - - where people follow out of love, respect, care and appreciation rather than out of fear, pressure, aversion from threat and just mere compliance. What a way to lead!

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”
-John Quincy Adams

I could share a lot of inspiring stories with my mom as the central character. I have indexed all the valuable stories in my heart. Her legacy on leadership (though she may not know it that time, that she was actually practicing servant leadership) is one of the most treasured legacies she made. She definitely made a remarkable impact in our lives and made us realize the importance of leaving something lasting behind that would make the lives of others better. I hope I do, too… Deo volente (God willing).  

Wear the “Blinkers”… Limit the Distractions… Be Mindful of Your Mission

Wear the “Blinkers”… Limit the Distractions… Be Mindful of Your Mission

By Ms. Eugene Martin

June 18, 2015

Having a Personal Mission Statement is really one way of achieving private victory (thanks to Stephen R. Covey's  7 Habits of Highly Effective People^®).  I have shared mine in various occasions with people I believe who might be “inspired” to make theirs, also. The Mission Statement, as I have observed, may evolve, depending on the opportunity at hand and the person’s level of maturity. In retrospect, this was my mission statement way back in the 90’s (during the early years of my career in the corporate setting):

My Personal Mission Statement by Eugene

To be remembered as –

A happy and lively person with a positive outlook and disposition…

With a life lived for others, unselfishly sharing my God-given talents.

Making use of the time wisely and putting things in order and nicely

Striving to be perfect (with God’s help);, Hoping and praying to be with Him in the end…

And when I joined the academe and was given the opportunity to expand influence, I had it revised and restructured by using mnemonics, (because I have to be prepared to avoid the trap of forgetfulness  J) and it has become my guide until now.

S.M.I.L.E. (personal mission of Eugene (2012)
S - Simplify life
M – Make time for family, friends and work
I – Initiate things that would make the lives of others better
L – Laughter is still the best medicine (having a positive outlook in life)
E – Empower others (Covey’s 8^th habit – find your voice and help others find theirs)

We can encounter a lot of camouflaged distractions, e.g., being in situations or acquiring things we thought beneficial in the achievement of our goals. Oh yes, we can be enticed and later would find ourselves rationalizing that we need to ‘sacrifice’ and that we are doing ‘this and that’ for our loved ones, where in fact, the activity is snatching the valuable time we have to spend with ourselves, our loved ones and “things of great importance” (from The Little Prince), and we just cannot say no, etc, etc., and then, the vicious cycle begins and continues….   That is quite disheartening, especially if we do not have someone who cares to remind us….  In addition, check the consistency of the mission of the organization and its administrators with yours.  There might be Person-Organization misfit. In this case, personal and career development will be hampered.  So, it is best to always be mindful of our mission to keep us always on track. 

E.F.F.O.R.T. and G.R.A.C.E.: A Teacher's Guide to a Successful Opening of Classes

E.F.F.O.R.T. and G.R.A.C.E.: A Teacher's Guide to a Successful Opening of Classes

Let's Gear Up for the Opening of Classes!
by Ms. Eugenia C. Martin
June 2012

First impressions last. We all know that. That's why we always put our best foot forward during these times. The first class meeting is perhaps the most challenging and exciting part of the teaching-learning process, for both the teachers and the students.

I really admire those teachers who can magically transform this day into a very special and memorable day for students, where the students would wonder why the time seemed too short and they would look forward to coming back to school. I have known several teachers who are like that. Their strategies are so effective that the students are so engaged and are having so much fun! They are oozing with positive disposition and infectious cheerful attitude! They are always wearing smiles and can be great candidates for the Search for the Happiest Pinoy!

Inspired by these wonderful and dedicated teachers, I have tried their strategies and vowed to apply in my life some of their admirable qualities, which I find effective.

So, for the first day of classes to have a favorable and lasting effect, we really need lots of preparation! The experience in this day can make or break the teacher's career. It can also determine the success or failure of the academic relationship of the teacher and students for the school year. It can also determine if the lives of both the teacher and the students would be a life of suffering or a life of enjoyment. To help me remember, I had thought of organizing the strategies and traits into these meaningful acronyms. So, teachers, let's gear up! Let's have: E.F.F.O.R.T. & G.R.A.C.E.

ENERGY (there’s a need for physical, psychological and spiritual energy)
Teachers need enough energy to be physically present. They need to psyche themselves up for this challenging day. They need to ask for enough wisdom, courage and strength from God, through prayer, to have a worthwhile and rewarding day.

FACILITIES (a clean and orderly environment clears the mind)
Teachers need to arrange and structure the learning environment to project a prepared, enjoyable and challenging place for learning. Ventilation, lighting, chalk/white boards and chairs must be cleaned and prepared in advance to have a conducive learning environment. Students must be seated following a particular order to facilitate recognition and recall of students' names. Always remember that the sweetest word a person can hear is the sound of his/her name being called with respect and dignity. Discipline problems are expected to be nil if the teachers can manage, control, and regulate the learning environment. Students will definitely follow the teacher's lead in valuing a clean, safe and organized environment.

FORMS (complete and organized school forms must be at hand)
School register, masterlist, lesson plans, visual aids and class records must be accomplished properly and accurately. Prepared teachers always have all the needed forms, materials and supplies accessible at all times. Class and teacher programs must be displayed at conspicuous places.


ORDER (there should be a place for everything and everything should be in its proper place - both for people and things)
Order should start even before the students enter the classroom. Establishing norms for acceptable level of order is recommended.

Example routine:
- Make the students line up first, alphabetically arranged; separate the boys from the girls.
- Guide the students to their seats as per plan.
- Introduce yourself as preliminary for proper greetings.
- Instruct the students with the proper greeting (as per the school's culture and tradition).
- Don't let the greetings pass without achieving the highest level of standard. Good practice makes perfect.
- Check the attendance. Record it in the school register. You may ask a student volunteer to write the statistics on the allotted space on the board.
Year and Section:  _______________ Date:______
No. of students  Expected Present Absent
Boys ________ ______ _____
Girls ________ ______ _____
Total ________ ______ _____

- Check the cleanliness of the surroundings. Ask the students to be aware of their environment and encourage them to maintain the cleanliness, especially within their area.
- Proceed with the lesson as planned.
- Start with an engaging question, anecdote or story
- Possible topics may include, goals of education, present curriculum, school history, philosophy, vision-mission objective, school officials and basic rules and regulations, grading system, among others, employing highly engaging activities and appropriate formative assessments.
- Implement the agreed rules and regulations inside the classrooms (before, during and after class, especially the duties and responsibilities of assigned groups and /or elected officers)
- Give an engaging assignment

RULES and REGULATIONS (start the school year right by orienting the students on the importance of following the rules and regulations; which is part of being a disciplined person)
Distribution of a student manual is highly recommended (or distribution of list of school rules and regulations, with list of school officials and list of facilities and service centers). Involve the students in explaining the basic school rules and regulations. Also, discuss the specific rules and regulations to be implemented inside the classroom.
Remind them regularly of the rules and the corresponding sanction or punishment. There is a need for consistency, firmness, patience and a lot of love. According to various brain researches, growing children and adolescents (because of their developing frontal lobe) tend to forget. The majority does not necessarily violate the rules willfully but they merely forget and need to be reminded regularly.

The following approach in handling discipline cases is recommended during the first few weeks:
1st offense minor offenses-reminder;
2nd offense-reminder again; students tend to forget.
3rd offense-written reprimand, with Parent-Teacher Conference
4th offense-behavioral contract, with Parent-Teacher Conference
5th offense-formal discipline case, with Parent-Teacher Conference and regular counseling; which must implement valid, fair and appropriate sanctions after the committee on discipline's deliberation.

If feasible, write the agreed rules in the bulletin board, with the signature of all the students as sign of their support and commitment. People in general tend to support rules and policies if they were involved and part of the policy formulation.

TIME (no time must be wasted for things of not great importance)
Promptness and punctuality must be observed. There should be engaged time-on-task. Allot time for engaging activities: teacher-to-student or student-to-teacher interaction; student-to-student; and student-to-materials or materials-to-student interaction. Maximize the contact time and spend it with quality. Avoid unnecessary interruptions to facilitate and guarantee understanding of the concepts.
There must be time for reflection. Silence is not always a cause for alarm. Allow enough thinking time, especially after asking essential questions. Maximize the allotted class time for a worthwhile, authentic and engaged learning experiences. Always encourage and keep the students' sense of wonder. Student's questions and concerns may not always be answered in one sitting. Allow time for the students to understand and explain the concepts in their own words.

E.F.F.O.R.T. must be associated with the following traits – G.R.A.C.E.
Good-manners and Generosity
Respect and Responsibility
Attentiveness and Alertness
Care and Commitment
Excellence and Enthusiasm

Finally, in any endeavor, we should always seek guidance from God through prayers. With enough effort on our part and God’s grace, we could not go wrong. Let our work be an expression of our love and our continuous commitment to serve!

With these, I guarantee GOOD start, BETTER teaching-learning experience and BEST intentions to make a difference -- one student at a time! Carpe diem!

The Inevitability of Change and How to Cope With It

The inevitability of change and how to cope with it

By: Ms. Eugene Martin

June 10, 2015 (fb notes)

             CHANGE. It is such a BIG word… loaded with so much cognition and emotion. Majority accepts its inevitability but most of them question its reality. Sometimes, I do. Effective management of change is what distinguishes successful people from the rest. Though there are lots of tips and ways how to cope with it, I would like to share some that worked for me.

             Choose positive emotion in dealing with change. Treat each situation as a challenge and an opportunity to be better. Proper management of the chosen emotion is the key in effective coping.

             Have options or alternatives and enumerate the pros and cons for appropriate and proper physiological and psychological preparation.

             Accept that life is full of surprises. Good things will come: some,immediately, but others, we need to wait. Some will come as blessings in disguise.

             Never give up. Never be disheartened. It is best to have determination,fortitude and persistence always . Having high adversity quotient is admirable.

             Gratefulness will gain more “feel good” hormones to keep you going.There is always something to be thankful for.

             Expect the unexpected. Better yet, be always reminded of your personal and work mission statement so you will not be confused and could act accordingly.

                Dealing and coping with change can “make or break” us. But, do not fear. Having a strong social support and being hopeful are proven to be beneficial in coping with life’s constant change.

                Carpe opportunitatem  (seize the opportunity)!  

No Idea Is Silly

No Idea Is Silly

by: Ms. Eugene Martin

My first meeting with second year students in their Research Class was very exciting and highly engaging.

Since the class had a different teacher last quarter, I requested the students to fill-in a K-W-L template, (what they Know, Want to Know, what they Learned), so I would have an idea on where to start and on what topics need to be revisited.

One of the students kept on teasing his seatmate about what he had written under the W column and remarked, “Ma’am, Peter (not his real name) would like to know if man could fly”. The whole class blurted in laughter, saying things like, “what a silly idea”, “we knew man can’t fly”, “too simple”, “it’s not related to our subject”, among others.

I got the attention of the class and told them that “no idea is silly”. One student commented, “Ma’am in our other class, there is always one right answer and the teacher didn’t like us to give the wrong answer and they (the class and the teacher) laugh at us if we were wrong. I like this class, ma’am. I will not feel bad even if my answer is wrong.”

I smiled and commented, “Class, you may write in the W column anything you really want to know. Let us see if the topic would be addressed in this subject. Let us respect his idea. You know, the most famous inventions and innovations started with a seemingly “silly idea”, like the ideas of Edison, Graham Bell…. See? Now, what can you say about them?”

After a few seconds, one student remarked, “Ma’am, they’re dead (?!)”. The class again blurted in laughter. I smiled and say, “You’re right!”  “And they are famous, too.”

That day was really unforgettable.  It gave a new perspective on research and started a very engaging class with novel and challenging topics and proposals.   

August 25, 2010

Lessons I Learned…

Honest and courageous conversations               Moments that matter                  Reflections from a mom

 

Lessons I Learned…

by Ms. Eugene Martin

That day was a very special day for our 6th grade son. It was his first time to join an educational tour in their school and without any chaperon. We do not usually allow him to bring valuable things like cell phone or digicam, especially if he is not with a trusted grown-up. But that day, he was allowed to bring the digital camera and his cell phone (of course, with some reminders on how to take good care of them).

There was a regular exchange of text messages. But late in the afternoon, I felt worried when he was not texting back.

I felt relieved when he finally came home, greeted me with a hug and a kiss. But I felt something not so good about him. I asked him how was the tour. He looked at me and tried to utter words I can hardly hear.. "Mom, I lost my cell phone. Sorry." Words he uttered between sighs and attempts to withhold his tears.

I hold and gently told him, "Oh, so that was the reason why you were not texting back. I was worried. Baby, I will not say it's ok, because we trusted you to take good care of it. But I am happy that you are here with me, you're safe. You are more important..."

He gently whispered, "Thank you, mommy. I knew it. You will understand. I know that you will be disappointed but I know I need to be open and honest and I am willing to accept the consequences."

"Losing your cell is already a consequence. What I want to know now is how you lost it. Can you still recall what happened?"

"We were playing in the arcade. The digicam and the cell phone were in my pocket. When we were already outside, I noticed that it was already gone."

"Oh, how did you feel?"

"I felt afraid, sorry. But I feel I need to tell you and dad everything that has happened. I know that you will understand."

"I just hope that you have learned a lesson. What would you do next time?"

"I should have brought a body bag. I should have reported the lost / incident to the customer service. I should be more responsible next time."

I just smiled and hug him more tightly.

I got my cell phone and composed a text message to be sent to my son's cell phone, hoping that the one who saw it could read and make a positive response. The message went this way:

"To whom it may concern: my son accidentally lost this cell phone while having their educational tour... He is from Marikina Elementary School.... It would be greatly appreciated if this will be returned. The cell phone means a lot to him... This is his mom. May God bless you po."

After 10 seconds, I received a text message coming from my son's cell phone: "San po kayo sa Marikina?” (Where are you in Marikina?)

I gave the directions and the finder was actually residing near our place. Her kid (with yaya) was also having a tour and found the cell phone.

My son, together with his sister went to the place and they got the cell phone back. We were very grateful. Indeed, there are still honest people in the world!

My son, while showing the retrieved cell phone to me, was trying to hold back his tears. He embraced me and whispered, "Thank you, mommy, I love you. I'll be more careful next time."

I was so touched by the behavior shown by my son. How brave he was to open up and tell the truth. How ready he was to accept the consequences of what happened. When he uttered the words "thank you", I can sense the depth of his appreciation for showing him understanding.

What I learned:

1. Indeed, parents' understanding, patience and lots of love will forever be in your children's hearts.

2. Openness and honesty begets openness and honesty.

3. Positive words produce positive results (the text message sent to the finder)

4. There are still honest people in the world.

- - - - - - 

What valuable lesson did your child teach you recently? Share your story in the comments—we'd love to hear it.

August 2010