Let Me Grieve Fully
by Eugene
To look forward with hope
As I look backward
To reflect and grieve...
Let me grieve
Let me grieve
Let the tears fall from my eyes
Let me embrace both sad and happy memories
remembering the laughter
remembering the tears
The pain in the loss, I'll endure..
won't exchange for anything
to un-remember you
Let me live without you..
Let me grieve fully
Let me live fully...
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(written for a loved one who died by suicide)
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Grieving and Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One by Suicide
By E.C.Martin, RGC
Dealing with the loss of a loved one by suicide is an extremely distressing and painful experience. I have lost a loved one by suicide. I'm really sorry if you also went through such a difficult time. Yes, we were overwhelmed by grief, confusion, and a range of emotions, when we lost a dear loved one by suicide. Aware that it's normal to feel overwhelmed, it is equally important to remember that we don't have to go through this alone. It was very helpful to reach out to friends, family, or mental health professionals who can provide support. The following are some suggestions that may help you cope with the loss during this grieving process:
1. Allow yourself to grieve and allow time for healing: It's okay to feel angry, guilty, sad, or any other emotion that arises. Grief is a natural response to loss, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up and don't try to suppress or deny them. Healing after such a loss takes time and everyone's grieving process is different. Don't rush yourself nor feel pressured to "get over" the loss quickly.
2. Create a memorial: Find meaningful ways to remember and honor the person you lost. This could include writing letters, sharing stories, creating a bereavement box, or participating in activities they enjoyed. Celebrating their life can help you feel connected to them in a positive way.
3. Take care of yourself: Grieving can be emotionally and physically draining and can take a toll on your mental well-being. Try to maintain a balanced diet, get regular exercise, and ensure you're getting enough sleep. Also, engage in activities that bring you comfort or joy. Avoid using unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or substance abuse, to numb the pain.
4. Avoid blaming yourself and seek understanding: The loss of a loved one to suicide can lead to feelings of guilt and self-blame. It's essential to remember that suicide is a complex issue, and no single person is responsible for the actions of another. Learning about suicide and mental health issues can help you gain some understanding of what your loved one might have been going through. This knowledge may not provide all the answers, but it can help with the healing process.
5. Seek support: Don't go through this alone. Surround yourself with understanding and supportive people. Share your feelings with trusted friends, family members, or a support group who can listen and provide comfort. Sharing your emotions with others can be a powerful way to heal. Connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss can be very comforting. Consider joining a support group for suicide survivors in your area or online.
6. Consider professional help: If you're comfortable, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor specializing in grief and trauma. If you find yourself struggling with intense emotions, thoughts of self-harm, or if your grief becomes unmanageable, it's important to seek professional help immediately. There are helplines*, crisis centers, and mental health professionals available 24/7 to offer support.
Remember, everyone's grief journey is unique, and you don’t have to go through this alone. It's crucial to prioritize your mental health and well-being during this challenging time. Healing is a gradual process, and if you ever find yourself in a crisis or struggling with your emotions, please don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional or a helpline in your community.
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*Free, immediate crisis counseling support in the Philippines
National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline Numbers:
1553 / 1800-1888-1553 / +639 086392672
https://www.ncmhusaptayo.com/
SMART / SUN / TNT: 0908-639-2672
GLOBE / TM: 0966-351-4518; 0917-899-8727 (USAP)
