The Journey Ahead: Moving Forward vs. Moving On - What's Right for You?

The Journey Ahead: Moving Forward vs. Moving On - What's Right for You?

by Eugene 10/14/2023

     

    Lately and more often, I've been using and hearing the phrases 'move on' and 'move forward', especially when faced with adversity. Well, life's a journey filled with pleasant and challenging experiences - and these phrases carry distinct meaning and offer different approaches in dealing with life's ups and downs. For me, understanding the difference between them is essential for personal growth and well-being (and well, aside from expanding our vocabulary).

    Moving on implies leaving behind the past, emotionally detaching from it, and making a conscious effort to start fresh. It suggests a certain level of closure and letting go. It acknowledges that some situations or relationships may no longer serve our best interests, and no longer conducive to growth and it's time to release them. Moving on often involves emotionally disengaging from the past and accepting that certain aspects of life are beyond our control. It's a conscious choice to free ourselves from the burdens of the past and to start anew.

    On the other hand, moving forward signifies a commitment, a deliberate and proactive effort to evolve and progress. When we are acknowledging the past, understanding the lesson it holds, and using those lessons to create a brighter future, that's moving forward. Moreover, it does not deny the significance of what has happened, instead, it confronts the past head-on and seeks to build upon it. It's about taking the wisdom gained and applying it to achieve new goals, whether personal or professional. Moving forward is an active and purposeful step toward improvement.

   Sometimes, you need to move on from a situation or relationship that is no longer healthy, and then move forward to build a better future. The key is to strike a balance between these two approaches based on your circumstances.

    Here are some key points to consider whether to move forward or move on:

        1. REFLECTION: Take time to assess whether the past has valuable lessons to offer or if it's holding back.

        2. GOALS: If choosing to move forward, establish clear goals and create a plan to achieve them. Break the goals into manageable steps.

        3. SUPPORT: Whether one is moving forward or moving on, having a support system in the form of friends, family, or a therapist can make the process more manageable.

        4. EMBRACE CHANGE: Both moving forward and moving on require embracing change. Be open to new experiences and personal growth

        5. SELF-COMPASSION: Remember to be kind to yourself. It's okay to take your time in making these decisions and to feel a mix of emotions along the way.

           At the end of the day, the decision to move forward and move on depends on the unique circumstances and the value placed on the past. It's essential to recognize that one isn't necessarily better than the other, but rather, they serve and fulfill distinct roles in our life's journey. Whether you're moving forward with newfound determination or moving on with a sense of closure, both paths can lead to PERSONAL GROWTH, HAPPINESS and a BRIGHTER FUTURE.

 

 

 

Grieving and Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One by Suicide

 

 Let Me Grieve Fully

by Eugene

 

To look forward with hope

As I look backward

To reflect and grieve...

Let me grieve

Let me grieve

Let the tears fall from my eyes

Let me embrace both sad and happy memories

remembering the laughter

remembering the tears

 The pain in the loss, I'll endure..

won't exchange for anything

to un-remember you

 Let me live without you..

Let me grieve fully

Let me live fully...

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(written for a loved one who died by suicide)

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Grieving and Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One by Suicide

By E.C.Martin, RGC

 

Dealing with the loss of a loved one by suicide is an extremely distressing and painful experience. I have lost a loved one by suicide. I'm really sorry if you also went through such a difficult time. Yes, we were overwhelmed by grief, confusion, and a range of emotions, when we lost a dear loved one by suicide. Aware that it's normal to feel overwhelmed, it is equally important to remember that we don't have to go through this alone. It was very helpful to reach out to friends, family, or mental health professionals who can provide support. The following are some suggestions that may help you cope with the loss during this grieving process:

1.      Allow yourself to grieve and allow time for healing: It's okay to feel angry, guilty, sad, or any other emotion that arises. Grief is a natural response to loss, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up and don't try to suppress or deny them. Healing after such a loss takes time and everyone's grieving process is different. Don't rush yourself nor feel pressured to "get over" the loss quickly.

2.      Create a memorial: Find meaningful ways to remember and honor the person you lost. This could include writing letters, sharing stories, creating a bereavement box, or participating in activities they enjoyed. Celebrating their life can help you feel connected to them in a positive way.

3.      Take care of yourself: Grieving can be emotionally and physically draining and can take a toll on your mental well-being. Try to maintain a balanced diet, get regular exercise, and ensure you're getting enough sleep. Also, engage in activities that bring you comfort or joy. Avoid using unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or substance abuse, to numb the pain.

4.      Avoid blaming yourself and seek understanding: The loss of a loved one to suicide can lead to feelings of guilt and self-blame. It's essential to remember that suicide is a complex issue, and no single person is responsible for the actions of another. Learning about suicide and mental health issues can help you gain some understanding of what your loved one might have been going through. This knowledge may not provide all the answers, but it can help with the healing process.

5.      Seek support: Don't go through this alone. Surround yourself with understanding and supportive people. Share your feelings with trusted friends, family members, or a support group who can listen and provide comfort. Sharing your emotions with others can be a powerful way to heal. Connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss can be very comforting. Consider joining a support group for suicide survivors in your area or online.

6.      Consider professional help: If you're comfortable, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor specializing in grief and trauma. If you find yourself struggling with intense emotions, thoughts of self-harm, or if your grief becomes unmanageable, it's important to seek professional help immediately. There are helplines*, crisis centers, and mental health professionals available 24/7 to offer support.

Remember, everyone's grief journey is unique, and you don’t have to go through this alone. It's crucial to prioritize your mental health and well-being during this challenging time. Healing is a gradual process, and if you ever find yourself in a crisis or struggling with your emotions, please don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional or a helpline in your community.

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*Free, immediate crisis counseling support in the Philippines

National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline Numbers:

1553 / 1800-1888-1553 / +639 086392672

https://www.ncmhusaptayo.com/

 SMART / SUN / TNT: 0908-639-2672

GLOBE / TM: 0966-351-4518; 0917-899-8727 (USAP)